


Gene Hunt, Male Rent Boy

by AngeRabbit



Series: Gene Hunt, Male Rent Boy [1]
Category: Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: Crack, M/M, OH the crack, PWP, Slash, more crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-06
Updated: 2013-02-06
Packaged: 2017-11-28 10:29:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/673382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngeRabbit/pseuds/AngeRabbit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I think the title just about covers the content...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gene Hunt, Male Rent Boy

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LJ on 19/02/2008.
> 
> This was a little shorter than I first anticipated (as the Bishop said to the choir boy)..but, as usual, Gene had his own way and called time before I was expecting.
> 
> **Disclaimer:** LOM belongs to Kudos and the BBC, and if either of these two companies ever found out the things I'd done with their characters, they'd release the hounds.

“So what's it to be, squire?”

“I've never done this kind of thing before, you know.”

“You seem to 'ave mistaken me for Marjorie Proops. Now get yer clothes off and let's get started.”

“What – what sort of services do you provide?”

“That depends on 'ow much yer willin' to spend. Although **I** always say an hour of me time is more precious than a blow job from the Pope.”

“I've got thirty pounds.”

“Right. Fiver buys you an introductory lesson with Mrs Fist and her five lovely daughters. Tenner gets my luscious lips wrapped round yer spam javelin. Twenty gets yer arse split open like a ripe peach. I call that the John Wayne Deluxe service. You'll be walkin' like you've been ridin' yer 'orse for a week.”

“Do you...er...do you have any accessories?”

“I should 'ave known yer were a kinky bastard. Any grown man who goes out in public with an 'aircut like that is either some kind of sexual deviant, or still wears his mittens on a string. Accessories...I've got a leather posin' pouch, but it's 'a bit small for my massive batterin' ram. I paid six quid fer it and a fiver of that crushes me bollocks. The other quid's worth is lost up me arse.”

“Do you bottom?”

“Do I look like a fairy?! I do the humpin' and you do the thankin'.”

“Ok then...um...I'll try a blow job and then sex, please.”

“Lie back and think of Man City. Always works for me.”

“Would you...leave your gloves on?”

“You must be jokin'! Gloves cost an extra fiver. There's no way some noncey punter's pullin' his pud over those beauties.”

“Without the gloves, then. Um - is something wrong? Only you seem to be staring at my cock instead of sucking it.”

“I'm just amused that yer payin' me a tenner to suck on something the size of a tic-tac. Looks like an easy night's work from where I'm kneelin'. Now stop talkin' and let me get on with it.”

“Oh...yeah...oh that's good...mmm...”

“If I'd wanted a running commentary I'd 'ave gobbled Frank Bough! Yer incessant twittering is puttin' me off me suckin'. And _of course_ I'm good, goes without sayin'. Now turn over and I'll show yer what a real cock feels like.”

“I do hope you use lubrication.”

“Good old spit works for me, pal. If you want the posh stuff it's goin' to cost you extra. Now spread 'em.”

“Oooh...aah...ngggggh...”

“Keep bitin' that pillow and trust the Gene Genie to work 'is magic. Well, yer a bit tighter than I was expectin'. Which is 'appy days for me, but not so much fer you. Brace yerself for the onslaught. It's goin' to be like pushin' a pink wafer into a pencil sharpener. Aaaah...there we go. Time fer you to start pushin' back like a very nervous sheep in front of a randy welshman on a clifftop.”

“Oh yeah...god...so good...”

“Of course...yes I am he...and yes I am...oooffff!”

“Aaah...aaah...OH YES!!!!!!!!!”

“See. Told you I was good. That'll be thirty quid. Although I should charge you extra, just because I'm so bloody fantastic.”

“Thank you. Can I see you again next week?”

“Welcome to my list of regulars. As I always say, once Gene's ploughed yer crack, you never turn back.”


End file.
